Ok, so with 92% of Wolvix not cutting it for Nesuro, I decided I'd mess around with Syllable OS, which is not Linux, no matter how much it seems like it.
Nesuro flies with Syllable, I'm getting an amazing resolution, it boots in 40 seconds (30 seconds for that damn eMachines splash screen, 10 seconds for Syllable), uses 6% of my HDD at base, has some nice themes preinstalled, uses very little RAM, etc.
I love it, but I won't bother putting it on any other computer, they're fine with their distros.
In other, sad news, I think Oofleschmoop's hard drive has given out, so I'll try and find a replacement HDD.
